And, thus, did Hades and Loki send their demon to unleash a plague of hell and pestilence, of death and destruction upon the earth. But, lo, Scott Smith was not afraid. For within he had the fire of 10,000 suns, a beacon of light in a dark time and, lo, did he smite the many-legged foe that hath been wrought upon his world. For even in darkness does the light of Scott Smith shine so bright, it blinds.
The anonymous creators and editors of this online shrine would like to correct an error that was made yesterday evening. In a previous post, we quoted the late, great Omar Little. However, some took that as an endorsement on our part that Scott Smith, the object of our affection, behave such as Mr. Little. That could not be further from the truth. We adore Scott Smith with the light of 10,000 suns. We love him with all our hearts and cherish the way he scratches our heads when he kisses us goodbye on his way to see his “other family” on the South Side. We also have great admiration for Mr. Little but in no way do we want to appear as if we connect the two. We recognize the need for both a source of light and source of dark in this world. We don’t believe, ultimately, that Mr. Little represents what is dark in this world but more of a swirly gray (and, really, one COULD make an argument he represents goodness in a dark world but, hey, that’s a whole load of shit we frankly don’t have the time or coffee for). And Mr. Smith represents all that is good and light. The two - Mr. Little and Mr. Smith - are quite different for different reasons and we admire for those different reasons yet they represent two entirely different spheres of inspiration and influence for us.
One might follow up with: What represents evil to us? The evil that represents the darkest of our world is so deep, so horrifically awful, that we’d never dare venture too far into its boundaries for too long, worried that we might never escape from its clutches, worried that it would consume us whole, worried that it would drag us down into an eternity of hate and suffering where our souls would burn in a never-ending fire of darkness. Or, more accurately, it would probably look like this.
So, in review: Omar Little is a badass of gray moral constitution and conflicted motivations while Scott Smith is sunshine, flowers, and unicorn farts. But they are most certainly not the same.
Thank you for your time. We regret the error.
Sincerely,
The Editors
You know who’s a BAMF? The dudes who shot bin Laden. But besides those guys, you know who else is a BAMF? Scott Smith. When the bunny kicked Scott last year, did that keep Scott down? No. BAMF bounced back up like Rambo and was all, “How you like me now, bitches?” And then he sired the first of many generations of Smith that will eventually lead to the birth of the one true savior, Aurora Andromeda Smith, who, in the year 2346 will defeat the Robot Overlords of Alpha Gamma 6 in the Great Nebulon Galaxy Unicorn Wars. And, lo, a year later, he was all, “Yall can take your First Annual Montgomery Burns for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence and sit on it because I just grabbed THIS, yall. SEACREST OUT!” Then Scott Smith dropped the mic and walked off stage.
Why?
Because you can’t keep a good man down.
Because, as another wise man once said, “Come at the King, best not miss.”
Because, as yet another wise man once said, “You better come correct.”
Because Scott Smith is a BAMF.
Jor-El:Their atmosphere will… sustain him.
Lara: He will defy their gravity.
Jor-El: He will look like one of them.
Lara: He won’t *be* one of them.
Jor-El: No. His dense molecular structure will make him strong.
Lara: He’ll be odd. Different.
Jor-El: He’ll be fast. Virtually invulnerable.
Lara: Isolated. Alone.
Jor-El: He will not be alone.
Jor-El: He will never be alone.
Congrats!!!
And on the 55th day, he returned to the realm to which he always belonged.
Scott Smith owns the karaoke mic like no other before and no other after.
There are never rumors involving Scott Smith, merely myths and legends.
While Congress was busy giving Americans health care reform this weekend, Scott Smith was busy doing the country an even greater service: traveling through time to erase the Star Wars prequels from existence.
Scott Smith doesn’t need a Delorean with a flux capacitor to travel back in time. All he does is gently ask Time to turn back for him, sipping a scotch all the while, and Time listens.
The only pre-existing condition Scott Smith has is being a badass.
